A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal attorney in town?" To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yeah, but we can't prove it yet!"

Jury: A collection of people banded together for the purpose of deciding which side has hired the better lawyer.

Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. "Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion.

A millionaire informs his attorney, "I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death." "Why such an odd stipulation?" asked the attorney. "Because I want someone to be sorry I died!" came the reply.

I broke a mirror the other day. That's seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. "Do you serve lawyers in here?", the man inquires. "Sure do!", replied the bartender. "Great!," said the man. "I'll have a Coors Light, and how 'bout a lawyer for my 'gator."